Handing out tickets like crazy and taming beasts

I'm Jack, Sheriff of Lakewood, just an ordinary human. A bunch of weirdos recently moved into town: an 800-year-old Original Vampire posing as a brooding high school kid, threatening to burn the town down for love; the Alpha werewolf from the reservation running around shirtless and howling in the rain. The two have turned the town upside down fighting over a plain human girl. I hit them with a $5,000 fine. The werewolf Alpha had to take a job jumping through flaming hoops at a circus in the next county to pay it off. True love conquers all? Not here. In my jurisdiction, vampires and werewolves alike must obey the law.